Overwhelmed (Plus Taking a Little Break)

Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday!

Feeling seriously overwhelmed over here. Isn't moving supposed to be one of the most stressful things ever? It's not just me, right? My dogs are doing weird stuff (ie peeing on the white carpet), my babies are doing weird stuff (ie not sleeping on schedule like they normally do, getting sick, screaming with teething pain, poor Luke), I am on these awful fertility drugs (Lupron, I hate you), my husband wants to get unpacked and organized as fast as possible, which I appreciate and love about him, but can't we just order pizza and lay on the couch and watch TV tonight, please? I am exhausted. Plus, one week off work...not enough.

Anyway, there are a lot of really good things happening around here too, of course...my babies are the cutest things ever, I love being back with my husband, my mother-in-law is helping hugely, I love our new home, I went on the most amazing hike yesterday and felt so much better about everything (must make more time to do stuff like that).

And, in an effort to keep my sanity, I'm going to take a little break from this space, probably a week plus or minus while I get things to a bit more normalcy, you know?

I thought this move would be easier...

And an FET at the same time...don't do it...

XOXO 

Last Week, in Bullet Format

Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!

Sorry to be totally MIA last week...don't know why I thought I could blog...such a crazy week and it went by so fast! I have a million pictures and stories etc. to share but for now a birthday shot and some bullets:

• Gorgeous drive with my mom and the kids from Colorado to ABQ, with an overnight in Farmington, NM
• Got access to the house a day early (Wednesday), which was great
• The house was absolutely filthy
• All our stuff arrived Friday...we are about half unpacked
• Kids had a great birthday Friday, too, although Luke got very sick and ended up in urgent care Friday night (he's fine now)
• My dad found a GORGEOUS place to go hiking with the dogs...excited about that
• So glad to be reunited with my husband!
• I am over-the-top emotional with this FET going on and all the artificial hormones etc...I hate this process...I cry every day for no reason
• I already miss my parents terribly...it's hard
• I haven't slept much at all for a week

So, good and bad, you know? That's life...

More later in the week...

XOXO

Grace in Small Things, March 7, 2013

Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!

A few things that are good in my world:

1. A little field trip with the kids to see baby chicks at the local co-op (it's pretty agricultural around here). And their first pizza after, which they loved. (I sent the last picture below to their dad, who called me and said, "Stop doing fun things with the twins without me." It's been brutal for him being away from them for so long.)

2. Our upcoming FET...completely paid for by insurance (except for a small deductible). I can't tell you how incredibly fortunate I feel. Everything we've done up to this point we've paid for 100%. I love my husband's new job.

3. Raining today...love the smell of rain...

4. A cup of hot tea and all cozy inside, dogs napping at my feet...

5. And...we are leaving Monday to officially move to Albuquerque! So excited! My mom and I are driving down, taking two days to make the trip easy on the kids. Close on the house Wednesday, get the keys Thursday, movers come Friday (and it's the kids' first birthday Friday, too). 

Hope everyone has a great weekend! Thanks for spending some time here this week.

XOXO

20 Questions

Note: This post is written as part of PAIL's "20 Questions" request...I'll update with a link to the other participants once it becomes available...

1. What was the last thing you threw in the garbage?

A Lipton tea bag. I drink 2 cups every morning.

2. What's the #1 most played song on your iPOD?

Actually, this is a funny story. When I was living with my brother Luke before he died, he used to get ahold of my phone and as a joke change the ringtone to Michael Jackson's "Beat It" all the time (not sure why that song, he didn't even like Michael Jackson), and then I'd be traveling for work and my phone would ring and I'd be embarrassed...so unprofessional.

And then one day I realized he'd downloaded "Beat It" onto my iPod and he must have spent all night one night pressing play over and over because it was the #1 most played song by a WIDE margin.

Because he's no longer alive, little memories/reminders like this are so precious...glad I got to think about this this morning...

3. What is your favorite quote?

One of my favorites, because it talks to the simple magic that so many of my days these days are made of:

"It's not every day that the world arranges itself into a poem." --Wallace Stevens

4. What chore do you absolutely hate doing?

Weeding. Followed by putting away the laundry.

5. What is your favorite form of exercise?

Used to be surfing for many years, now I want to say snowboarding...I used to have a season pass and go all the time, but since I've had kids I haven't been able to get it together to go, which is OK, I'll snowboard again. What I actually do these days is hiking and hot yoga.

6. What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?

I love the light in the evening, just before the sun goes down. And Fall is my favorite time of year, especially in Colorado.

7. What is on your bedside table?

Stacks and stacks of magazines (mostly New Yorkers and Poetry, the occasional Vogue), much to my husband's chagrin.

8. What is your favorite body part?

On me? I used to love that I had a flat, flat stomach...but not so much since having twins. 

9. Would you use the power of invisibility for good or evil? Elaborate.

Good for sure...I have a hard time being evil. I'm waaaaaay too nice, which is not necessarily a good thing...

10. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would that be?

Whatever age involves having little kids all around me...this time is so happy and precious...so afraid of it passing...

11. What is the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?

Buy a slopeside condo in Crested Butte, CO, a cottage on the beach at Rincon (Santa Barbara, CA area), a bungalow in Seattle. Then spend my time traveling amongst the three.

12. What is your biggest pet peeve?

People who do crappy/sloppy work.

13. If you could know the answer to any question, what would it be?

How do you survive tragedy and keep yourself intact? I feel like I've barely made it through things life has already thrown at me, and it's inevitable that there's more to come.

14. At what age did you become an adult?

Late 30s.

15. Recommend a book, movie, or television show in 3 sentences.

One of my favorite books ever is called "Holy Land" by D.J. Waldie. It's tiny little essays about a tract home development in Southern California, which sounds so boring but the writing is absolutely brilliant and so incredibly its own. My deepest wish is to write something as cool as this book.

16. What did you do growing up that got you into trouble?

Pretty much nothing (see #9 above). I did bite my brother in the bathtub when I was a little kid, and then said to my mom, "But Mommy! I didn't bite him! I had my mouth open and he fell on my teeth!"

17. What was the first album you bought with your own money?

I can't remember. I'd like to think it was some cool grunge band like Nirvana, but it was probably some horribly shallow and vapid '80s pop thing.

18. If someone wrote a book about you, what would be the title?

I've written a book about me (more specifically, about my time in Santa Barbara), and I can't come up with a title. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know...

19. What story do you wish your family would stop telling about you?

See #16, above. I've actually recently told my mom that she only gets to bring this incident up 5 more times, so ration wisely. :)

20. True or false: The unicorn is the greatest mythical creature. State your case.

I'm actually partial to the mermaid, given my love of the sea...

XOXO

Photography 101: What Do You Like/What Are You Trying to Do? Edition

Hi Everyone! Happy Tuesday!

So, a confession: I've been thinking a lot about photography, reading and doing some things outside my comfort zone, but have been hesitant to write about it here for some reason...maybe because I am so not an expert and who am I to talk about this stuff, you know? But that was kind of the point, to let you guys follow along with what I was learning. So today I'm going to dive right in....kind of stream-of-consciousness but these are the things that have been on my mind and I think where I need to start.

Something I've been thinking about a lot as far as photography is, what are my preferences? What really got me thinking about it was this post (great advice on photographing kids, which I've linked to before), which advises iPhone photography over DSLR, because with an iPhone you're always there in the moment, which isn't true with a bigger camera. And I totally see that and I really admire this woman as a photographer, but me personally I don't like my iPhone pictures as much as my DSLR pictures.

So I got to thinking, what else do I like and not like? The pictures I take that I really gravitate towards, what do they have in common? For me (and I'm not suggesting anyone else's list should look like this, just that it's probably valuable to think through your own list). Anyway, for me, the pictures I take that I like best have the following things in common:

• They are taken with my DSLR
• They are outside, in natural light
• Evening light is by far the best
• They are closely cropped
• The background is carefully considered
• And, in iPhoto (post-production), I tend to overexpose the pictures a little, and increase the contrast, and the saturation

Looking at this list is really helpful for me, before I even start doing new things with my camera I know where my preferences lie and that I should probably honor/highlight these preferences...I know if I take pictures at night, for example, I'm most likely not going to like them (although sometimes there are picture-worthy moments at night, or with less-than-ideal backgrounds, etc., and you just have to do your best).

Also and changing the subject a little, I think it was Van Gogh that said something along the lines of he and his friends weren't painting the world according to how it looked, they were trying to reproduce how it feels...and that's what I'm trying to do with my pictures, too...I know that's why I personally care so much about the light...I'm trying to recreate how I experience the world, what it feels like to me, always trying to stop time and remember, know what these days and months and years feel like, this time which people tell me will be the happiest of my life...

How about you guys? Are there commonalities to the pictures you take that you really like? Are you trying to recreate things accurately or capture how things feel? Curious to hear...

XOXO