Grace in Small Things, June 14, 2013

Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!

Some lovely things that are happening:

1. My mom is here visiting! Yay!

2. Just got the call from my clinic...I am DONE with daily progesterone shots. Cannot tell you how happy that makes me. And I should be weaned off all meds next week.

3. I have a really cool Father's Day planned out for my husband...can't wait!

4. First rain I've seen in New Mexico yesterday. Was good to see rain. Think it's going to happen again this evening, too.

5. Feeling a bit better emotionally. So glad. And I have lots of plans for taking better care of me, which is, I think, at least part the problem. More on that next week.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. :)

XOXO

Instructions for Living a Life

Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.

--Mary Oliver

(via AB CHAO)

Pregnancy Week 9

Sick this week.

A little better today.

Sad, sad, sad--crazy sad--in a way that makes writing extremely difficult. 

More soon, I hope...

XO

Week 8

Week 7

Week 6

Week 5

Week 4

Grace in Small Things, June 4, 2013

Hi Everyone!

Happy Tuesday!

Here are some things that are good in my world:

1. Thanks to those of you who left kind comments on my (somewhat whiny) post the other day. And to Janie, whom I don't know, thank you for the gentle (and very polite) reminder that things could be worse. Yeah, I'm feeling down about some things, but everything is right in my world right now and my malaise is NOTHING like the pain of fertility stuff and miscarriages and etc. that so many women go through before getting to have a take-home baby. That is hell. This is no big deal
2. Story hour at our local library is so great. And it's pretty easy for me to take both kids there by myself...I feel like supermom when I can get out and about like that with twins. (Getting out and about with them has been more challenging since I haven't been able to load the stroller up in the car...because I'm not supposed to life heavy things while pregnant...I had no idea how much that stoller enabled me to do, and what a learning curve it would be figuring out how to get out of the house with 2 kids without it) 
3. Taco Cabana chicken quesadillas are the best thing ever. With the very, very hottest sauce, tons of it, I could drink that stuff. That's one of my cravings lately and so glad I can just drive down the street and get one. (The other things I'm craving are celery...weird, I know...and grapefruit juice, which is what I craved last pregnancy)
4. Work is busy. Projects are fun. Although I have a MASSIVE thing to write in the next week or so...a little nervous about how I'm going to pull that off but my husband said he'd be happy to help with the kids so I know it's going to happen
5. And...OK...confession: After swearing up and down my whole life that I would NEVER drive a minivan...well, as of this weekend there is a minivan parked in our driveway. The funny thing is, I thought I would hate it and, you know, it kind of needed to be done with 3 kids coming up and 2 big dogs and Grandma living with us and my parents visiting often and us wanting to do road trips to Colorado and elsewhere, but I didn't expect to be happy about it. I've driven a Jeep FOREVER. That's who I am. But you know what? I am actually LOVING the minivan. So easy to get the kids in and out. So easy to get everyone in the car to go somewhere. So easy to do errands. This minivan thing kind of rocks. :)

Hope everyone is having a great week. :)

XOXO

Image Credit: tetamodeler

Pregnancy: 8 Weeks (And I'm Struggling With Being Pregnant and Other Stuff)

Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!

I was 9 weeks pregnant yesterday, and according to my ultrasound a few days ago, all is well.

All I can really talk about this week is being sick, sick, sick.

And exhausted, but really the being sick is worse.

And I'm fighting it, I have been for a couple weeks, but feeling so terrible is getting me into a really bad funk.

Compounded by the fact that I'm in a new city with no friends and my family a little farther away than I'm used to (although they are still close and have been visiting a ton which I HUGELY appreciate).

You know, Albuquerque is going to be great, there is so much the city/surrounding area has to offer and I'll make friends, I know I will, and I love our house and my husband and the kids are the best and my husband's job is just amazing--amazing--but, I don't know, I am missing Colorado, and Seattle, and California, don't even get me started on California...I always miss the places I've lived in the past, it's just who I am. I miss the green of the springtime and grass, oh my gosh I miss grass (it's pretty much all about xeriscaping around here) and I'm just so sick and exhausted all the time, I feel like I'm having to give up everything about myself for a family...I just feel like I'm losing every shred of who I used to be from where I live to doing creative stuff to traveling to being active and outdoors to having a social life...and I know a lot of this is temporary, I knew going into this that the pregnancy would probably be hard, but still, the day-after-day reality is really getting to me.

But what is there to do but carry on, you know? I love my life, I just wish I didn't feel like the old me totally has to die to have this. Does anyone else feel this way? I think the combination of a new city (with no support system) + fertility treatment craziness + morning sickness + some fear about being able to give three kids what they need...I've got two down pat...is three going to be OK, or will it totally push us over the edge?...anyway, I think all these factors together are...it's just feeling like too much.

Oh, and by the way, totally changing the subject, I am doing horribly with the diabetes diet. When I actually had gestational diabetes I did an A+ job of eating the way I was supposed to. But being advised to eat that way before I actually have an issue...it's so hard. And it's not really junk food that's the problem, it's that I want some carbs to keep from throwing up. And I'm supposed to have protein at every meal/snack but I don't want protein. I've actually got a million food aversions going on right now...like avocado, which is usually my favorite thing ever. And what I want to eat is weird, like a tuna melt the other day...I never ever eat tuna melts...

Anyway, that's where things are.

I'm hoping in another month or so I'll stop feeling so sick and that will help me emotionally.

Things are hard right now.

On the other hand, my husband's worked hard this week to get our new pool in working order...so we now have a sparkling, crystal clear blue pool in our backyard to play in with the kids this weekend...and it's supposed to be sunny and in the 80s the whole time...and the pool water's nice and warm...and all the roses and other plants are blooming out there...ah, it's so lovely and we're so lucky...how can anyone be sad with that happening, right? :)

XOXO

Week 7

Week 6

Week 5

Week 4